The Hawk

Okay, the Sox won 2 out of 3 this weekend. That's fine. South siders get bragging rights for a little while (until the Cubs sweep this weekend... I say that with defiance, not anxiety). That's fine. It seems like the Sox always seem to do better in the cross town series anyway. Today I'm annoyed about the Hawk.

And not the Cubs' Hawk. The White Sox's Hawk. The one I had to listen to for hours and hours this weekend. The one who said that you couldn't call the game properly unless you had played it professionally. I guess since the Hawk played the game professionally, he knows how to call the game right. Hey, Ken Harrelson! I have an idea. Write your own manual on how to call a baseball game. Hell, with all that you know about calling a game, you could probably fill up an entire pamphlet! It could include great pointers such as these:

1. Make up a loud, irritating home run call/catch phrase that people from all around the country will learn due to the fact that it is audible in every white sox home run highlight shown on sportscenter. Make said home run call/catch phrase make no sense, such as "You can put it on the board... Yes!" Okay, okay... I get "you can put it on the board." But why the "Y-y-y-ES!" part? Is that to confirm that we at home can indeed put it on the board? Thanks for the confirmation. If I didn't simultaneously see the ball fly out of the park while you were saying that, I never would have known that I had permission to "put it on the board."

2. Don't say anything for ten minutes. Then, to cut the silence, say something poigniant and witty, such as "Come on, Big Frank, give it a ride." Then don't say anything again for another ten minutes.

3. Talk about how things were when "I was a player." People are very interested in this. Talk about your days in the big leagues as if you had a hall-of-fame career (Hawk played 900 games in his big league career, hitting .239/.325/.414).

4. For hitters, never use statistics other than batting average, home runs and runs batted in. Those are the only statistics that matter. For pitchers, stress Wins being the most important statistic.

BAKO! BAKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I guess it wasn't entirely Paul Bako's fault that the Cubs lost last night. The bullpen blew up and the Cubs' bats couldn't come through in the late innings (although, frankly, 9 runs should be enough for a W). It wasn't Paul Bako's fault that Michael Barrett was unjustly thrown out of the game, thereby leaving a gaping offensive hole where Barrett's bat should have been. It was, however, Paul Bako's fault that he didn't catch the passed ball that allowed the go-ahead run to score last night. It was also Paul Bako's fault that he dropped a relay throw in the top of the 7th inning two nights ago. Fortunately, the Cubs hitters (aside from Bako - you know, the ones that can actually hit) came through in that game to get the Cubs the victory.

My question is, can somebody please explain to me why Paul Bako is playing on a major league ballclub? It's bad enough that he's playing for the Cubs, but come on. He's 32 years old. He's a career .241 hitter with fucking 8 career home runs. His career OPS is .648, which is approximately what Barry Bonds' on-base percentage is this season. They say that he's a stellar defensive specialist, but from what I have seen from him this season, Michael Barrett is just as good - if not better - defensively. He may be a good receiver overall, but over the last two days he has botched key plays in key situations with first place in the balance. On top of that, he's actually batting worse this year than he has averaged over the course of his career, and has the unique distinction of having a higher on-base percentage than slugging percentage: .213/.314/.279.

The conclusion? Paul Bako is a suck monster. If you're a catcher who can't hit, you can still have value if you're a good to excellent defensive catcher. Bako's no hitter (obviously) and his defense isn't good enough to make up for his status as an automatic out.

SBC Park

In other news, I visited SBC park in San Francisco over the weekend. I saw my favorite baseball player, Pedro Martinez, get shelled in the bottom of the first inning by one of the NL's weaker offensive teams, but then he settled down, didn't give up any runs after the first, and escaped with a no decision. The Red Sox tied the game at 4, but then the Giants won it on an 2-run Edgardo Alfonzo pinch-hit home run in the bottom of the 8th. It was a great game. We even witnessed something very rare that day: Barry Bonds went 0-for-4 with NO walks. That's right - they pitched to him every time up, and Barry had an Ofer.

The park did not disappoint, either. I had been told by a co-worker of mine who had been there before that it was just amazing, that you had to see it in person to really believe it. My good friend Parker basically told me the same thing. So I had pretty high expectations for the park going in, and to be honest, I thought my expectations were going to be so high that I was going to end up disappointed.

I wasn't. That park is gorgeous. If you're ever in the San Francisco bay area and can manage to get tickets (side note: due to the Red Sox's enormous popularity, my family and I were forced to pay $75 for $23 tickets), GO. The park looks big and even imposing on television, but it has a very intimate feel. Walking along the standing room area in right field is really cool - look left, baseball field. Look right, San Francisco bay. Even the worst seat in the house (which is pretty much what we had) gave a good view of the field, and a gorgeous view of the bay.

Since I enjoyed the field so much, and would eventually like to visit all 30 parks, it got me thinking, "Alex, what's your favorite ballpark of all time?" After .000000000000000000000000001 seconds of deep, pensive thought I said, "Wrigley Field." But the list after that isn't so straightforward. Except for the number 2 spot. So, not because you're necessarily interested in it, but because it's my blog and I can do what I want to, here's my list of my favorite ballparks that I have visited:

1. Wrigley Field
2. Fenway Park
3. SBC Park
4. Miller Park
5. Kauffman Stadium
6. Busch Stadium
7. New Comiskey Park/US Cellular Field (if I could rank these two separately, I would, since US Cellular is actually a much nicer place than new Comiskey - they spent the naming rights on stadium renovations)
8. 3com Park/Candelstick Park (No longer exists for baseball)
9. The Astrodome (No longer exists for baseball)
10. Le Estade Olimpique

I would write mini-critiques for all of these, but I think the list is self-explanatory. Olympic Stadium really is a pit. I went there more than 10 years ago, and managed to see the Expos play the Cubs. But the thing I remember about it is how the ball sounded off the bat there - a crack with an eerie echo, almost like they weren't supposed to be playing there. I was pretty young when I went to Candlestick, and I have a more vivid memory of the Astrodome than of Candlestick, but I rank the Stick higher due to the fact that the Dome was, well, a dome, and baseball was not meant to be played on artificial turf.

Cubs

I should leave town more often. The Cubs have won 9 of their last 10, managed to take 2 out of 3 from Oakland... oh yeah, and had a 4-game sweep of the Houston Astros in their retarded gimmicky park before that. I was so deliciously happy to see the Cubs capitalize on Minute Maid's quirks - Ramon Martinez hitting a cheapie home run down the line in left field, Aramis hitting an opposite field line-drive home run that went about 340 feet, Craig Biggio tripping over that dumb hill in center field more than once... Ahhhhh, 'twas glorious. And last night the Cubs came from behind (again) to beat the Cardinals in dramatic fashion, to put them one game back of the Cardinals. I hate the Cardinals. I don't know if I have ever expressed that here, but I really hate the Cardinals.

I don't know how much I believe in momentum and chemistry and stuff (and I will probably never understand how much of a role that sort of thing truly plays in a professional team sport), but I think that first game against Roger Clemens may have given the Cubs a bit of a shot in the arm. I mean, sure, they played great in Anaheim, but it has got to give your team a lot of confidence to go up against (statistically) the best pitcher in the league, and to knock him around, especially when that pitcher pitches for a key division rival.

But here's the thing about the Cubs: they're still underperforming. Currently, they have the best runs scored to runs allowed ratio in baseball. According to Bill James' pythagorean theorem of baseball, the Cubs should be 43-27 right now (they're 40-30), which would be the best record in baseball, were all teams performing exactly to their ratios. The good news for the Cubs is that while they're underperforming, the Reds have finally discovered that they are not a contending team (although they are still playing a whopping six games over their expected record of 32-38), and the Astros are also underperforming. Hopefully the Cardinals' bullpen can continue to implode so that the Cubs can move to first place, where they should be.

Oh, Happy Day! (Cubs win 4 straight . . . Trip to SBC Park)

It doesn't concern me that my softball team lost 10-0 on Monday night. It doesn't concern me that I made my first error of the season (although, to this point, still my only error - the rest of my night in the field [at SS and 3B] was flawless) It doesn't even concern me that I went 0-for-3 with three flyouts on Monday night, bringing my season batting average to an abysmal .167 (don't try to kill the ball, Taft. You've never hit a home run in your life, and you're not going to start now. Line drives). All that matters is that on Monday night, Mark "Still needs a good nickname" Prior pitched great, and the Cubs manhandled the Rocket for his first loss of the season.

All that matters is that last night the Cubs took advantage of an extra out given to them by Lance Berkman in the 9th inning and ended up winning. If you didn't think the end to that game was exciting, you're dead inside. Or you just really dislike baseball.

All that matters is that the Cubs have won 4 in a row, and 7 of 10. They beat the Angels and the Astros to win those 4 games in a row. They are 2 games back in the National League Central (and are tied with the Marlins and Reds for the second-best record in the NL), all without Sammy Sosa, Kerry Wood, Mark Grudzielanek and Alex Gonzalez. Tonight, they could pull even with the Astros in the season series. Tomorrow night, they could take the lead in the season series. The last week has been a good one to be a Cub fan.

On a completely unrelated topic, but also a very happy one, I will be traveling to San Francisco for a short vacation tomorrow. I will be seeing family most of the time, which I am looking forward to. On Saturday I will be going to SBC park to see a historic matchup between the Red Sox and the Giants. I think that my family might be shocked and/or humiliated to find that I will be rooting for the Sox. Oh well. I can't not root for the Sox, because my favorite player in all of baseball, Pedro "There's No Crying in Baseball" Martinez is slated to start for Boston. For the Giants, it will be youngster (I can say youngster because he's 2 months older than me) Noah Lowry, who currently has a 6.43 ERA.

Despite the lopsided pitching matchup, I anticipate a good game. The Giants have surged back from a terrible start to get to 2 games over .500, and are only 1.5 games back in the tight NL West race. The Yankees (41-21) have finally started to separate themselves from the Red Sox (37-26), who are now 4.5 games back in the NL East, but are in a virtual tie (0.5 games back) with the A's for baseball's second-best record, and the wild card spot.

All of that aside, I'm really looking forward to seeing SBC park. It is often compared to Wrigley, and it is often called the crown jewel of the new ballparks (along with Camden Yards and PNC Park).

Cubs vs. Astros

I will be missing (at least part of) yet another Cubs-Astros matchup due to a softball game. While just about the only thing I love more than watching baseball is playing it (or some beer-infused, slowed-down version of it), I would really like to watch this game. And if you're reading this, you likely know why I would really like to watch this game:

Prior v. Clemens.

In the new Neyer/James Guide to Pitchers, Bill James ranks the best fastballs of every half-decade in the history of the game. In 1985-1990, Roger Clemens' fastball was ranked the best in the game. No surprise there. In 2000- present, Mark Prior's fastball was ranked 6th best in the game. This is a surprise, considering that Prior made his MLB debut in 2002 and has only pitched one full season (30 starts in 2003).

However, blazing fastballs aside, the real appeal to me in this matchup is the "looking into the future" element. Obviously, it is too early to really compare Mark Prior to Roger Clemens. But the similarities of the beginnings of their career are something to note:

Prior (USC), like Clemens (Texas), was a pitching phenom in college. They both made their big-league debuts at the tender young age of 21. They were both noted for their blazing fastball, their command of said fastball, and excellent, if not near-perfect, mechanics. Both started about 20 games their rookie season. Clemens had a better Win-Loss record; Prior had a better ERA. Just for fun, here are their rookie years, compared:

Rocket:
Season TM G GS CG SHO IP H R ER HR BB SO W L SV HLD BLSV ERA
1984 Bos 21 20 5 1 133.1 146 67 64 13 29 126 9 4 0 0 -- 4.32

Mark:
Season TM G GS CG SHO IP H R ER HR BB SO W L SV HLD BLSV ERA
2002 ChC 19 19 1 0 116.2 98 45 43 14 38 147 6 6 0 0 -- 3.32

If I said I had the utmost confidence in Prior getting the Cubs a victory tonight, it would be a lie. Despite Prior being half Clemens' age, he is only starting his sixth professional game this season, whereas Clemens is gunning for his 10th victory - with the league lead in Earned Run Average. Also, Prior will remain on a pitch count, I would imagine, for at least two more starts. So even if Prior is magnificent tonight, he will likely be pulled in the 85-90 pitch neighborhood. That might be enough to cover 6 or 7 innings, but against the Astros, I wouldn't count on it.

Cubs v. Cardinals

The Cubs just had a 10-run, 11-hit bottom of the 4th inning. Corey Patterson, Todd Hollandsworth and Aramis Ramirez all got on twice in the inning. Who are these Cubs, and why do they only show up when someone crappy (i.e., Dan Haren/Cal Eldred) is pitching?

Oh. I guess I just answered my own question.

The amaing thing to me about this inning was that it appeared that (a lot of the time, at least) the Cubs were actually working the count! Another amazing thing: one of the outs was on a caught stealing. If it weren't for that, there might have been more runs. For those of you that missed it, here's the Gameday text of the inning.

_________________________________

MIDDLE OF THE 4TH
_________________________________


Bottom 4th B:0 S:2 O:0
Aramis Ramirez singles on a ground ball to center fielder Jim Edmonds.

Bottom 4th B:0 S:2 O:0
Todd Hollandsworth singles on a ground ball to right fielder Reggie Sanders. Aramis Ramirez to 3rd. Todd Hollandsworth to 2nd on the throw.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:2 O:1
Derrek Lee grounds out, third baseman Scott Rolen to first baseman John Mabry. Aramis Ramirez scores. Todd Hollandsworth to 3rd.

Bottom 4th B:4 S:1 O:1
Corey Patterson walks.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:1 O:2
Corey Patterson out at 2nd, catcher Yadier Molina to second baseman Tony Womack.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:2 O:2
Ramon Martinez singles on a line drive to right fielder Reggie Sanders. Todd Hollandsworth scores.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:2 O:2
Carlos Zambrano singles on a line drive to center fielder Jim Edmonds. Ramon Martinez to 3rd.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:1 O:2
Todd Walker singles on a ground ball to right fielder Reggie Sanders. Ramon Martinez scores. Carlos Zambrano to 3rd.

Bottom 4th B:0 S:0 O:2
Michael Barrett singles on a ground ball to shortstop Edgar Renteria. Carlos Zambrano scores. Todd Walker to 2nd.

Bottom 4th B:3 S:0 O:2
Moises Alou homers (15) on a line drive to left center field. Todd Walker scores. Michael Barrett scores.

Bottom 4th B:1 S:0 O:2
Aramis Ramirez doubles (16) on a sharp fly ball to center fielder Jim Edmonds.

Bottom 4th B:0 S:0 O:2
Todd Hollandsworth singles on a sharp ground ball to center fielder Jim Edmonds. Aramis Ramirez scores.

Bottom 4th B:0 S:0 O:2
Pitcher Change: Cal Eldred replaces Danny Haren, batting 9th.

Bottom 4th B:1 S:2 O:2
Derrek Lee homers (7) on a fly ball to left field. Todd Hollandsworth scores.

Bottom 4th B:2 S:0 O:2
Corey Patterson singles on a ground ball to center fielder Jim Edmonds.

Bottom 4th B:2 S:2 O:3
Ramon Martinez grounds into a force out, second baseman Tony Womack to shortstop Edgar Renteria. Corey Patterson out at 2nd.

The Impartial All-Star Ballot – NL Edition

It pains me to say that when I researched my choices for the IASB, I could not find one Cub to legitimately put on the ballot. However, it makes me happy to not have to vote for Scott “The Bulldog” Rolen (look at him. He looks like a damn bulldog.), who I thought I would almost certainly have to vote for in my neverending quest for pure impartiality. Yes. Impartiality has become my neverending quest, apparently. Actually, it hasn’t. After I vote this ballot once, I will fill up the rest of my 24 online ballots with all Cubs, repenting for the evil I have committed against the team.

1B: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals, .325/.426/.656
Jim Thome and Todd Helton are both having great seasons, but once again, Albert Pujols is putting up insane, would-be-MVP-were-it-not-for-Bonds-esque numbers. Since Mr. Pujols is a St. Louis Cardinal, I am required to hate him until the day he trades in his red for Cubby blue. So, with that said, I have only this to say about Albert Pujols: There’s no way he’s 24. And if you really believe that he’s 24, well, you’re probably dumb enough to live in St. Louis.

2B: Jeff Kent, Houston Astros, .316/.359/.542
Item 1: Jeff Kent is a big, dumb hick.

Item 2: Am I surprised that Jeff Kent leads all NL 2B in OPS? No. Am I surprised that he leads NL 2B with an OPS just barely over 900? Not particularly. Am I surprised that he heads all NL 2B in OPS by more than 100 points (Mark Loretta, .798)? Yes, that surprises me. The NL second baseman wasn’t a particularly fun category to vote for this year. The only other really big name in this category is Montreal’s Jose Vidro, who’s had a miserable first third (.686 OPS).

SS: Royce Clayton, Colorado Rockies, .305/.365/.490
With Rafael Furcal hurt, Edgar Renteria having an awful season (.261/.307/.365), and Orlando Cabrera making a very poor case for himself heading into free agency (.224/.273/.314), shortstop has become an offensive gaping hole in the national league.

Enter Royce Clayton.

What? Royce Clayton? The same guy who hit .228 with Milwaukee last year? The same guy who spent most of 2002 trying to get over the Mendoza line? The very same. Why is he having such a resurgent year? Well, there are two reasons: First, he’s not really having that great of a season; he just happens to be the most productive shortstop in a league really thin on talent at that position. The second-highest OPS of any NL shortstop belonged to (you won’t believe this) the Pirates’ Jack Wilson, with .831. That’s pretty lousy for second-best, especially when you consider the AL’s shortstops.

The second reason Clayton is doing well this year is, of course, Coors Field. It makes me absolutely ill to think that hitters that fared so poorly in other, “normal” ballparks last year can instantly revive their careers at Coors Field. Don’t believe me? Look at Jeromy Burnitz and Vinny Castilla. Burnitz hasn’t had a season with an OPS higher than .851 since 1999 (and he’s been considerably worse in recent history), but this year, he’s near the top of the NL in OPS, with a shocking .302/.383/.643, with 16 home runs. Burnitz may be the prototypical Coors hitter in that he hits long, high fly balls a lot. This translates into lots of outs on the road, where Burnitz is hitting just .263.

Vinny Castilla makes me want to wretch. He has had a reputation as a “power” hitter basically his entire career because he played the peak of his career at Coors Field. During this peak (’95-’99), he did very well, hitting 32, 40, 40, 46 and 33 homers. Of course, as soon as he left the friendly confines of the Thin Mountain Air, he stunk it up, big-time. You may or may not remember the 2000 Devil Rays going big market, but they did. They dove headfirst into free agent waters to pick up Vinny Castilla, Greg Vaughn, Jose Canseco and Fred McGriff. The Devil Rays went 69-92 that year, no thanks to Vinny Castilla, who hit 6 home runs in 331 at-bats.

Why is it that Vinny Castilla still has a job? Is his defensive value really that high? Vaughn and Canseco have not been able to get jobs in MLB since failing with the D-Rays, but I bet they could both hit 30 homers at Coors Field over the course of a season. Even Fred McGriff had to fight in the minor leagues to get called up by his hometown Rays this year. Of course, my theory about Vinny Castilla being a totally worthless hitter outside of Coors Field will go for naught this year, as he is (of course) tearing it up again at Coors (OPS: 1.146), which will of course earn him a place back in the old baseball men’s club of “Guys Who Can Take It Out of the Park.” This is ironic because Vinny can’t take it out of any park other than Coors. This season he has a .695 OPS on the road, where he is hitting a ghastly .206, with an almost-as-sickening .262 OBP.

How did my tirade about Royce Clayton turn into a tirade about Vinny Castilla? Oh yeah. Coors Field. In conclusion, I have no idea how the Rockies will ever win there.

3B: Mike Lowell, Florida Marlins, .336/.422/.635
Rejoice, Cubs fans! You don’t have to vote for Scott Rolen, even if you want to give a vote to someone who deserves it! Scott Rolen may be leading the world in RBI, but Mike Lowell is tearing it up. He has the eighth-highest on-base percentage out of anyone in the whole league, and is tied for eighth in home runs (14) with about nine other dudes.

OF: Barry Fucking Bonds, San Francisco Giants, .374/.633/.861
No, that second number is not Barry Bonds’ slugging percentage; it is, indeed, his on-base percentage. Put this in your pipe and smoke it: Barry’s OBP is higher than two players listed on this ballot (Kent, Clayton)’s slugging percentage.

I have argued for a while that Barry should be allowed to use “Fucking” as his middle or nickname for PA announcements or public appearances, to emphasize the gravity of what happens when he comes to the plate. Baseball fans, we are watching the most feared hitter in the history of the game. Relish every at-bat you are lucky enough to see. If he walks intentionally, marvel at his ever-increasing on-base-percentage and start a pool to see when he will break the all-time walks record. If he walks unintentionally, marvel at his mastery of the strike zone. If he hits one out, marvel at the distance and the fact that there was probably no doubt in your mind – or Barry’s – that that ball was going to leave the yard. If he makes an out, marvel at the fact that you just witnessed Barry Bonds make an out – something he has done with less frequency than getting on base over the last three and one-thirds seasons.

OF: Lance Berkman, Houston Astros, .333/.481/.650
If you ever want to know why I hate Lance Berkman, first look at his uniform, then read the Sports Illustrated article they wrote on him a couple of years ago, right after he was making a name for himself. Lance Berkman is a great player. But he is a big, dumb hick.

OF: Craig Wilson, Pittsburgh Pirates, .349/.424/.632
Now this really surprised me. If someone had told me that Craig “Thor” Wilson was going to have a 1.056 OPS after 209 at-bats at the beginning of the season, I probably would have laughed at them. If someone had told me yesterday that Craig “Thor” Wilson was currently having a 1.056 OPS season, I would have been like “What?!” And then I would have looked it up on the internet and then I would have been like “Holy shit. Craig Wilson. Who knew?” I hope that Craig Wilson makes the All-Star team. I don’t know what his minor league numbers are, if he’s destined to be a star or whatever, but I do know this: Craig Wilson is 27, which means he probably is having the best season he’ll ever have. He plays for the Pittsburgh Pirates, which means nobody (including people who live in Pittsburgh) has heard of him. He is third among everyday outfielders in the NL in OPS. I know he won’t beat out the likes of Bonds, Griffey and Sosa, who are all having great seasons (well, Sammy was having a great season before the Sneeze Spasm incident), but I do hope that Jack McKeon will open up an All-Star spot for our mullet-headed friend.

Softball - Week 1

Indy Team #2 made our Rec-league debut Monday night at Revere Park. We got destroyed by a score of something like 16-6. I played first base for most of the evening and was flawless in the field. I didn't count my put-outs or assists, but I did play the 3-1 putout flawlessly with our pitcher twice. Defensively, there wer two highlights of the evening. The first was a nice grab on a sharp grounder to me (the play went 3 unassisted) that even the first base coach on the other team complemented me on. The other highlight was another grounder to me that I took myself, although I collided with the batter when she got to first base. She fell down. I discovered later she was attractive. Smooth.

Batting wise, I did all right, getting a base hit in my first AB, which moved a runner from first to third - I moved to second on the throw. I reached on an error in my second AB and popped out in my third. So right now the Taft line looks like this:

G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS
1 3 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .333 .333 .333 .666

Small sample size as of yet. Next week I'm going to be more patient at the plate; this week I basically went up hacking - I looked at just a couple of pitches all night long. I later found out that in this league, it's 3 balls for a walk and 2 strikes for a strikeout, plus you only get two foul balls. The girl who was pitching for the other team wasn't throwing particularly well, but I swung at just about everything anyway. Hey, patience may win you more games, but in rec league softball, it's much more fun to hack.

The Unbiased All-Star Ballot

(I wrote this on Friday. All stats are accurate as of 6/4/04)

I know, it’s been about 6 months since I last rapped at you, and the season is a third of the way over, so I figured this was long overdue. I thought that to re-start my blogging here, I would start off with a topic that is extremely important in the game of baseball (Almost as important as the handsome man team (www.rossgianfortune.com)): All-Star voting.

They shouldn’t put out All-Star ballots until after May is over. Yet, every year, they start appearing in ballparks in mid-April, when nobody has yet performed well enough to garner any real All-Star recognition. Why, if we used the first two weeks of the season as a basis for voting for All-Stars, Richard Hidalgo should, by all means an purposes, be the top vote-getter.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter how the players perform. If it did, Nomar Garciaparra (.000/.000/.000) would not be leading all American League shortstops in voting. The All-Star game has never been about merit; it’s about popularity, and for the managers, fulfilling the minimum one-player-per-team requirement. Like most fans, I will vote for my favorite players over players that actually deserve it. Like most fans, I will also vote no less than 10 or 15 times for the All-Star game. But unlike most fans, I feel that I need to vote at least once impartially, to tip my cap to the players that actually deserve it. Unless they play for the New York Yankees. So, without further ado, I present my selections for my one-time-only impartial All-Star ballot:

American League
1B: Frank Thomas, Chicago White Sox (.291/.459/.576)
Frank is leading the AL in walks and leads the White Sox in homers. As much as I hate the White Sox fans and their stupid ballpark, I hate the folks even more who have been hurting on Frank Thomas over the past few years. People said he had an off year last year because he hit .267. But here’s the thing: he still had an OBP of .390, and still hit more than 40 homers. I’d kill for Derrek Lee to have an off-year like that.

2B: Mark Bellhorn (write-in vote), Boston Red Sox (.253/.393/.411)
Who knew that one third of the way into the season the Bellhorn side of the Pokey Bellhorn platoon would be leading all AL second-basemen with an .804 OPS? It surprised me. Where are the usual culprits? Well, Bret Boone seems to have fallen into the chasm of suckdom this season (.676 OPS), we all know Alfonsio Soriano can’t get on base to save his live (.319 OBP), even if he is “exciting” to watch. I almost picked Rafael Belliard (Cleveland) for this spot, as he is second among AL 2B with a .798 OPS. But his batting average has dropped drastically since he was tearing up the ball at the beginning of the season. He’s now batting .318 with a .398 on-base percentage. To me, Bellhorn’s .253/.393 split is much more impressive.

SS: Michael Young, Texas Rangers (.338/.372/.529)
If you had told me that I was going to be voting for Michael Young in my Impartial Ballot this year, I would have laughed and accused you of falsifications. While it doesn’t surprise me that Young is outhitting the notoriously overrated Rich Aurilia and Derek Jeter, it does surprise me that he’s outhitting Miguel Tejada. What surprised me even more was to find out that Chris Woodward of the Toronto Blue Jays has the highest OPS of any SS on the AL ballot (.911). But he’s on the 15-day DL and has only played in 21 games, so I discounted him. American League shortstop used to be a really boring category to vote for; A-Rod was any impartial voter’s choice. However, this year, with Jeter and Aurilia sucking it up, and Nomar on the DL, it makes things a little more interesting. Red Sox Nation, however, does not seem to think so, as they have stuffed the ballot boxes, catapulting the yet-to-play Garciaparra to the top shortstop spot in the AL. If that isn’t a testament to how much the fans in Boston love this guy, I don’t know what is. Nomar, you’d be crazy to leave Beantown. You’re overrated, they’ll overpay you to stay, and you’ll peter out to nothing more than an injury-prone .300/.330/.490 hitter without Fenway Park to play in.

3B: Melvin Mora, Baltimore Orioles (.379/.460!/.601!)
As I approached AL 3B, I thought to myself, “Okay, maybe I won’t have to vote for A-Rod. Maybe I can keep this ballot Yankee-free.” Well, I have good news for those of you who are Yankee haters: not only is A-Rod not the best offensive 3B in the AL this year, he’s the third best. So if for some reason you have an aversion to voting for a Yankee and an Oriole, you can vote for Hank Blalock.

C: Jorge Posada, New York Yankees (.295/.441/.604)
There are a lot of really good hitting catchers in the AL this year – Pudge, J-Lo, Victor Martinez… but as much as I hate the Yankees, even I can’t deny that Jorge “The Looney Toons Vulture” Posada is tearing the AL a new hole this season. He’s 4th in the AL in OPS. Now let us never speak of it again.

OF: Manny Ramirez, Boston Red Sox (.355/.449/.670)
Remember when the Yankees got A-Rod and everyone was talking about how they got the best player in the game? Well, A-Rod may be the best overall player, and Barry Bonds may be the best overall hitter, but Manny Ramirez is, and has been, the best right-handed hitter in baseball for years.

OF: Vladimir Guerrero, Anaheim Angels (.365/.408/.645)
Vlad impales. He’s 7 for his last 8. Last night, I saw him hit a slider that was going to end up in the dirt… for a gap-splitting double. He can hit anything.

OF: Carlos Beltran, Kansas City Royals (.281/.368/.548)
Statistically, the third-best outfielder in the AL is the Yankees’ Hideki Matsui (.312/.424/.527), but my baseball fandom/Yankee hatred will not allow me to put more than one of them on an all-star ballot. And besides, with Beltran, we have a nice, well-rounded outfield (Manny in Left, Bel-tron 3030 in Center, and Vlad in Right). Beltran is a future Yankee, anyway. Might as well vote for him before I have to hate him.

NL coming soon…